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Joke of the Day

"My Uncle said this now that there are two popes Two popes walk into a bar with Yankee caps on. The bartender says, ""Didn't you guys use to be Cardinals?"""

"Yo mama so fat, when she fell over nobody was laughing... ...but the ground was cracking up"

"OK, time to put up the tree and spend the next six weeks scolding the cat for playing with the dangly remarkably-cat-toy-like ornaments."

"Porn is so unrealistic. There's no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice."

"When your SO asks Daddy for ketchup at the family BBQ. And you BOTH grab it at the same time."

"You know what they say about cows in the Bermuda Triangle... They moo in mysterious waves"

"Divorce is when you tell someone: Hey I know you better than anyone else on Earth and I'm gonna take a pass"

"Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she. Do you know what her dogs name was? (insert Wookie noise) Do you know why her dog ran away? You would to if your name was (insert Wookie noise)."

"Back in my day invincibility cheats used to be called God Mode. 90 kid's will understand."

"""Is that old Chinese food in the trash? There's Q-tips in there too? AND a bag of my poop? This is gonna be so good!"" --dogs"