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Joke of the Day

"What's the worse quality of a hermit crab? They're too shell-fish!"

"I've started a business building yachts in my attic Sails are going through the roof!"

"what do you call a fake noodle? An IMPASTA!"

"I just found out I had sex with a monkey in a previous life You cant blame me though because it was really long ago, and I was the first Human that wasnt fully a monkey myself."

"Despite what everyone says, I don't think your mom is a ""dirty pirate whore"". She's actually quite clean for a pirate whore."

"I really understand how batteries feel... I'm rarely included in things either."

"Have you heard about the new restaurant on Mars? The atmosphere was ok, but the place looked a bit rusty."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and windows 10 Just after windows 10 was released, Arnold was asked if he was ever going to upgrade to windows 10. His response? 'I still love Vista, baby.'"

"adopted son son: mom i am 100% sure i am adopted, you do not Love me. mom: if we have had adopted a child, we would have adopted the one with better face."

"Snoop Dogg; Shake what'cha momma gave you. Me; Ummm... ok. <vigorously shakes a frozen lasagna>"