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Joke of the Day

"I really understand how batteries feel... I'm rarely included in things either."

"I'm writing a book about how people can free themselves from taking pictures of themselves. It's a selfie-help book."

"I consider myself to be a bodybuilder Granted nobody else does but I do"

"How many Star Trek captains does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but there are FOUR LIGHTS!"

"What's black and white and can't fit through a door? (x-post r/AntiJokes) A zebra with a spear through its head."

"One might say it smells like pussy in the room But if you ask a Redditor, they couldn't tell you."

"What do you call a robbery of Italian ice cream? Grand Theft Gelato"

"A programming joke There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and"

"A man goes to a job interview... Interviewer: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" Man: ""Probably my honesty."" Interviewer: ""I don't think that's a weakness."" Man: ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""

"IamA personal executive assistant answering questions on behalf of former Toronto mayor, Rob Ford, AMA! Whoops, wrong *sub.* [The Payoff](http://wompwompwomp.com/)"