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Joke of the Day

"I just found out I had sex with a monkey in a previous life You cant blame me though because it was really long ago, and I was the first Human that wasnt fully a monkey myself."

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"9/10 people believe that... Out of every 10 people, 1 person will always disagree with the other 9. -Colin Mochrie"
"Where do Siths do their shopping? At the Darth Mall"
"Q: What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life? A: Grade six."
"A kid gets home very distressed..... And says ""mom everyone at school says that im always distracted"" ""FOR THE LAST TIME KID, YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR!!!!"""
"When those Subway ""$5 Footlong"" commercials come on, every man is quietly calculating how much his penis is worth."
"This guy in my living room must think I'm an idiot, he says he picked my lock but I distinctly remember choosing it at the store by myself."
"Why couldn't we get precise kinetic data on the phosphine-catalyzed reaction? The reaction rate was too phos-phor-us"
"Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator)."
"First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl that was my supper."