114761

Joke of the Day

"What don't you say to console a grammar nazi? ""There their they're, it'll be okay!"""

"As a kid, I didn't want to get caught misbehaving by my parents. Now I'm a parent. And I don`t want to get caught by my kids."

"Whenever my wife sing, i open up my room windows so the neighbors don't think I'm beating her."

"Cashier: ""Sir, the toilet paper you're buying goes on sale tomorrow."" ""COOL, I'LL CHECK WITH MY FAMILY TO SEE IF THEY CAN HOLD IT IN."""

"Guy calls his doctor... He says, ""I figured out what's been causing the pain, doc. Avocado!"" Doctor: ""Did you research that?"" Guy: ""No, I just pulled it out of my ass"""

"Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now."

"[NSFW] What did the sperm say to the egg? Cum with me if you want to live."

"Wife: Who was that on the phone? Husband: Wrong number. Some guy thought this was the weather bureau. Wife: What did he say? Husband: He asked if the coast was clear..."

"Imgur Servers"

"""Who's sorry now?"" ~ First question on Canadian citizenship exam"