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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now."

"Did you hear about the racist dolphin waiter? He serves no porpoise."

"What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian? Jah Bless"

"How many men does it take to open a beer? - None. It should be opened by the time she brings it."

"Guy in the club: *lifts up his shirt* I do 400 crunches a day. Me: How many more until you get a personality?"

"What's the worst thing about your girlfriend having a miscarriage? Trying to look upset."

"How do you unite both the Catholics and Protestants in Ireland? By sending in millions of Muslims"

"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"

"What's green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table."

"If you factor in ""supply and demand""... she DOES NOT want the D. There is so much D trying to go around, not even the alphabet wants the D."