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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a little girl cry twice? Wipe you dick off on her teddy bear. I...I'm sorry. I was told this by a schoolmate in middle school."

"This day in history. 1961. In Spain the fascist government of Generalissimo Francisco Franco declared equal rights for women and men. None."

"In my day a hand on my crotch was third base... now even a hand job is a foul ball!"

"I call bullshit on these retro bottles of Coca-Cola. They make you add your own cocaine."

"Ever had a yellow snowcone? Urine for a treat!"

"COP: Know why I stopped you? ""Drag racing?"" COP: Nope. ""Speeding?"" COP: Definitely not. ""Cuz I'm on a unicycle?"" COP: That's the one."

"What sound does an octopus make? A squid word."

"Have you heard about the corduroy pillows? They're making head lines."

"I pay a monthly membership fee that lets me think about going to a gym."

"I got this joke about ocular herpes... But the girl who gave it to me didn't want me to tell anyone."