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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you have unprotected sex in the ear? Hearing AIDS."

"How is the layer of fat around a woman's vagina called? Woman."

"The early bird might get the worm... But the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Ppl freakin cuz its sharks in the ocean. News flash: that's where they live! If u see them at Chipotle, then we have a problem"

"My dad was walking around the house screaming yesterday.... He kept shouting, ""A, E, I, O, U"". ""What's wrong?"", I asked him. To which he responded, ""Nothing, I just have irritable vowel syndrome..."""

"[Fixed] What do you get when you put human DNA in a goat? ISIS"

"For Halloween, our daughter is dressing up as joke telling jack-o'-lantern. She's our little pun-kin."

"Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers."

"What's more horrifying than finding a stack of dad's playboys in the basement? Realising one of them's still breathing."

"How can you tell someone is an engineer? They'll tell you! (Source: am an engineer)"