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Joke of the Day

"When I awoke from the accident and they told me my fingers were broken... it was hard to grasp."

"I've stood up for black people plenty of times... Not worth getting shot over a seat on the subway."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when they are put in the oven!"

"phd thesis: the amoumt of property damage depicted in a action movie is directley proportional to its budget"

"Why are the other numbers afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9."

"Accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles last night My next shit could spell trouble"

"When Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer, it's called ""art"" and ""music. When I do it, I'm ""drunk"" and ""have to leave Home Depot""."

"What is a neck beard's favorite country? M'Laysia"

"What part of a chicken is a musical instrument? The drumstick. (Had this joke stuck in my head for a while so felt like sharing it.)"

"What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100? I'd say it's fifty fifty"