161319
Joke of the Day
"Why do potheads only steal from other potheads? Otherwise there's nothing worth toking."
Next Joke
"Don't call it a comeback.. .. It's mostly in your hair."
"Made a folder for my Japanese phone apps... I call them Japps."
"[interview for waiter position] Manager: ""So how experienced are you at carrying multiple plates?"" Stegosaurus: ""You're kidding me right?"""
"Couples that stay fit together don't trust each other enough to go to the gym alone"
"I always suspected that Matthew McConaughey was a rebel. That suspicion was confirmed when I saw what he wore every single day after Labor Day. All white, all white, all white."
"What do rodents say when they play bingo ? 'Eyes down for a full mouse' !"
"Where does an angry pirate get sent? Anchor Management"
"[first date] ""So, I heard you work at the circus."" [shallows bread stick whole] Nope. ""You sure about that?"" [chewing on glass] Yup"
"There are two types of people in this world Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data."