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Joke of the Day

"phd thesis: the amoumt of property damage depicted in a action movie is directley proportional to its budget"

"A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out."

"I bet when scientists throw office parties, there's always the one guy who gets drunk and carbon dates his own butt."

"Kid threw a rainbow slushee at my windshield .... Thought I hit a unicorn"

"What do you call a 7 foot tall Ellen Pao? Pao Ming."

"If the workouts you're talking about aren't the bedroom variety no one wants to hear about it."

"I like my women like I like my trail mix... With nuts."

"How to Pass So apparently if someone commits suicide while we take a exam or final in school, everyone in that room or place will get 100%. I literally need the blood of a virgin to pass these exams."

"What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you fuckin racist."

"Don't you hate when somebody gives you the finger in traffic and then you have to follow them home and loosen the lug nuts on their wheels."