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Joke of the Day

"When Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer, it's called ""art"" and ""music. When I do it, I'm ""drunk"" and ""have to leave Home Depot""."

"I asked a chinese girl for her number... I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"Can't wait to sit in the doctor's office reception area so I can read how to fix meatloaf 3 ways & catch up on 1992."

"Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5? Because it was pi-rated."

"Batman Begins Twerking #AddaWordRuinaMovie"

"Howabout plastic, reusable tortilla chips where you could just suck the guacamole off them?"

"The hell with a Klondike Bar, ask me what I'd do for a box of Girl Scout Cookies."

"[10mins from now] ..& just like that North Korea was removed from history & got nuked by every country on Earth for bringing down Twitter.."

"Tried a new flavor from my favorite brand of energy drinks. It was the 2nd grossest taste I've ever had in my mouth. (No offense, Andrea.)"

"A doctor, a midget, a monk and an indian is at a bar when ... ... a blonde suddenly walks in. M. Night Shyamalan shouts ""Cut!"". The blonde fainted."