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Joke of the Day

"You aren't going to believe who the most amazing person is. Just read the first two words!"

"What happens when a T-rex gets strep? His throat becomes saurus."

"Some guy jumped me in the alley...! Yeah he was so nice. My battery had run out because I left my lights on!"

"What do you get when you put human DNA into a donkey? North West."

"Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don't know."

"""I don't care how goodlooking you are if you don't have any brains."" -Zombies"

"So this Kristen Stewart cheating stuff... Still a better love story than Twilight."

"I'm gonna start giving bad news to people in that cute, high pitched voice I use to talk to kids and dogs."

"So my pregnant wife wanted to introduce toys in the bedroom... I suggested a clothes hangar"

"What receives a man's first blowjob? An NES cartridge."