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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a rooster and a gay surfer? A rooster says, ""Cock-a-doodle-doo."". A surfer says, ""Dude, a Cock will do.""."

"Autocorrect is like being drunk: You only realise what it did after you have left a bad impression."

"So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Apparently it's an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."

"A guy runs into a bar at light speed and asks the bartender for whatever's on tap. Thirty seconds later, the bartender asks he wants to drink."

"I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the batch of cinnamon rolls in the oven!"

"You auto complete me."

"I was dating an English teacher, but she dumped me.... She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon."

"A boy to his mother: Do you know how much suffering the poor beast had to endure for you to get this fur coat? My boy, you mustn't talk so disrespectfully about your father."

"Thanks for explaining the word ""many"" to me. It means a lot"

"Why did the Jonestown jokes never catch on? The punchlines were too long."