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Joke of the Day
"A battery murdered another battery He was charged with murder and put in a duracell."
Next Joke
"I happily dad joked my fiance While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side. To which I replied, ""At least you won't smell half bad!"""
"Nothing soothes the soul like seeing a huge muscular guy walking with a tiny ice cream cone"
"Millionaire Interview Interviewer : Sir, who helped you on becoming a Millionaire? Millionaire : My wife........ I was a billionaire before."
"-gestures to everything in the Garage- Me- THESE ARE MY TOOLS AND I AM THEIR KING!!! Wife- YOU'RE a tool Me- DAMN RIGHT I AM Wait..what?"
"I can spell relief with one letter P!"
"Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper ? He sold his soul to Santa."
"It's funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my brother sleeps on his back, my ex sleeps with everybody... that sorta thing."
"Look, if you can take a smoke break, I should be able to take a twitter break. It's not like one addiction outweighs the other, HR!"
"What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant? Spare ribs."