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Joke of the Day

"ME: So. You from around here? HER: Yes. You're in my bedroom closet."

"GUIDE TO BEING BATMAN: 1. Lose parents, inherit everything 2. Let people get murdered 3. Never murder the Joker cause he's the best at puns"

"Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find? Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes."

"Friend: I love FB but it's gettin a lil boring. Me: Well that's cause all the cool peeps are on Twi- ..uh are all dead. Yeah they all died."

"I used to hate tumors But then they grew on me"

"I want to see a movie where a robot gains consciousness and realizes its a loser and doesn't want to do anything"

"did you hear about the gay, cannibal pirate? apparently, he loved the taste of seamen."

"Things have changed so much like 4000 years ago if you killed a lion and could fix people's teeth you would have been the king of everything"

"There's nothing more disappointing for a woman than finding out a bearded guy in a flannel shirt is a hipster and not a lumberjack."

"I like my racist jokes like I like black people! I don't like black people."