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Joke of the Day

"Remember, there can be only one interesting person per relationship."

"What's the difference between Al'qaeda and civilians? Beats me I just fly the drone!"

"Best part of cleaning the apartment is putting new magazines on the coffee table so you can look cultured for the guests you don't have over"

"I tried to make this post all about why Finland DOES actually exist... ...but I couldn't Finnish."

"Someone keeps sending me envelopes with cartoon dicks on them. I hate junk mail."

"Did you here Whitey Bulger was put in solitary confinement because he was caught masterbating in his cell? It was a sticky situation."

"I don't understand women. I also don't understand how a car works but I still drive it."

"Did you hear that Jenner accident was actually caused by the car? Bruce was having tranny problems."

"An alien, a predator and a terminator walk into a bar... and then... I've got nothing. Someone finish the joke!"

"What's black and steals your change? Vending machines."