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Joke of the Day

"Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find? Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes."

"Kind of a kid joke What kind of cereal do zombies like? Kellog's All Brain"

"I told my parents I wanted a panda for christmas. all I got was a white x6"

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise!"

"[1st day as cop] captain: ""why did you call for back up"" me: ""there was a fly in my car"" swat team leader: ""what exactly do you think we do"""

"What do you call a French whore? Lahore."

"When I woke up this morning, the garbage disposal was making a funny noise. Turns out he was just masturbating in the next room."

"Daughter (5): ""Daddy your tummy is big and bouncy just like our trampoline"" Me: ""Well you're short and can't spell chrysanthemum"""

"Rise and shine to all the beautiful women of the world. Ugly women, don't get greedy, go back to sleep, your time is coming, at night."

"What's the worst thing about Mexican and Black jokes? Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."