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Joke of the Day

"my ex: sometimes I forget why we ever broke up me: when you do that sigh thing I can hear your nose hair"

"Doctor, doctor, what can I do? Everyone thinks I'm a liar... I find that very hard to believe!"

"pizza pizza pizza eatya eatya eatya"

"Coming Out Girl: Dad Dad: yeah? Girl; I have Bad News Dad: What Is It Sweetie?? Girl: I'm A Lesbian... Dad: Ok... Other Sister: I'm Lesbian Too Dad: Does Anyone In This Family Like Boys!!! Son; I Do"

"Boy : I have a pen you have a phone number. Think of the possibilities. Girl : I have a sandal you have a face. Think of Casualties."

"Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end."

"A group of people were yelling at me in the movie theater. It got so loud I had to take my phone call outside."

"2 Owls 2 owls are sitting in a tree. First turns to the second and says, ""Did you hear Bill's getting a divorce?"" The second Owl replies, ""Who?"""

"If Ronald Reagan were alive today he would roll in his grave... roll, scream, kick and so would you if you woke up in a casket."

"Since we're at it: Dating in your 30s is like registering a domain name... The good ones are all taken. But you can always get one from an exotic country..."