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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said that me being a mime was too much, and she was leaving But I couldn't bring myself to say anything"

"A pregnant girl from my high school made her unborn child a Facebook and added me as a friend. I AM FRIENDS WITH AN EMBRYO YOU GUYS."

"What starts with ""P"" and ends with ""orn""? Popcorn Pervs."

"I lent my cell phone to my cousin, but he kept going to out-of-service areas causing me to receive extra charges on my monthly bill... So I call him and say ""Ay cousin! Stop Roman around!"""

"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar... ...to watch the Welsh play in the quarter-final"

"Winter... The only time of year when 8-12 inches is used to describe something white. (Up North)"

"the guy who named eggplants, pineapples, and Guinea pigs is all the same guy"

"Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - but half the pages are missing. What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?"

"*walks up to a group of sad people at a funeral* Do y'all know the wifi password"

"What do Ethiopians have in common with Yoko Ono? They both live off dead beetles"