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Joke of the Day

"My 5 year old is stuck inside a duvet cover right now so I think I'm going to go for a walk and just let Darwin solve this one."

"My wife and I switched positions to make our night more exciting last night... so she sat on the couch and I washed dishes."

"How do you kill a blonde? Give them a gun an say it is a blow dryer"

"What do you put on big rusty boobs? Double D 40"

"Dad to his adopted son ""What is the extreme limit of laziness?"" Son ""Having an adopted son."""

"[1hr before date] Me: (to waiter) So when I order the extra spicy chicken you say 'brave choice sir' and then bring the Lemon Herb chicken"

"Lets try it once A husband asks his wife to try anal...she says, Ohhhh that reminds me with the school days."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza can have ham and cheese together."

"I wish I had taught my dog the command ""Taylor Swift"" so every time it snowed he would just ""Shake It Off."""

"i hate workimg at the lightbulb factory!! evrey day i hav to thimk of good ideas so they can harvest the lightbulbs that apear abov my head"