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Joke of the Day

"My essay question is: ""The best Track and Field event is the one where they throw the circular object as far as they can."" ""Discus."""

"BREAKING: Judge strikes down Kentucky ban on gay marriage, but ruling on hold while state appeals for right to keep treating gays like shit."

"94% of my workout regimen is reading things online that make me so angry I shake"

"My cat rolled on my weed tray and now half my weed is stuck in her fur......Do I smoke my cat?"

"Saw (2004, Horror): An old man gives 2 people instructions on how to walk out of a bathroom. 102 minutes."

"This fat hate on reddit has been ridiculous lately. Come on, give them a break. They have enough on their plates already."

"Sometimes I want to make a joke about short people But I don't want to stoop to their level."

"15 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs. Don't die Kevin Bacon!!"

"I'm not saying she's a slut but she's had more people inside her than the statue of liberty!"

"Two peanuts walk out of a bar one was assaulted( a salted)......peanut"