27903

Joke of the Day

"Paying for things with hugs Because it's legal tender."

"SON: I'm moving out as soon as I turn 18 and you can't stop me. ME: [pumping fist] If you insist."

"I'd tell you a joke about statistics But the punchline is probably outside your range."

"Justin Bieber The new Justin Bieber 3-D movie is amazing. It's like you could almost reach out and punch him."

"I almost ate that little packet in the shoe box. Good thing it said 'do not eat'. That was close."

"Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home? Because they won't commute."

"Where did Abdelhamid Abaaoud do most of his craft shopping? Wahabi Lobby."

"have a nail gun and some boards laying around? show him you love him by adding some attractive wood paneling to his car"

"What's the best time to visit your Chinese dentist? Tooth hurty"

"40 Theoretical physicists walk into a bar Or did they?"