11250

Joke of the Day

"mailman: ahhh nothing quite like returning home from a long day delivering m- [gets attacked by his own dog]"

"if u pressed the right numbers on yr phone u could be talking to dwayne the rock johnson in 20 seconds"

"Someone just called for cleanup in the dairy aisle but I'm the only one here so I dropped the jug of milk I was holding and ran"

"I think my family is really going to dig the 15 minute powerpoint I've created of the things I am thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner."

"99 bugs in my code, 99 bugs in my code... Take one down, fix em' around, 404 bugs in my code."

"I'm going to open a sperm bank. I'll call it ""Get a load of that guy"""

"The one place you don't want to move to ...is any place with a thriving funeral buisness"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, ""Why is that, Angus"""

"It takes a long time for a giraffe... ...to swallow its pride."