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Joke of the Day
"I'm going to open a sperm bank. I'll call it ""Get a load of that guy"""
Next Joke
"Brazil's congress. thats the joke, folks..."
"It turns out smoking prevents Alzheimers. You don't live long enough to develop it."
"Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A: They all have phones."
"[me as a passenger on the titanic] oh ewww are there olives in this salad? YOU be quiet lillian, i swear this trip cannot possibly get worse"
"I'm constantly pretending I know what people are talking about."
"Which president was least guilty? Lincoln, because he is in a cent."
"Why did the salmon cross the road? Cuz it's fucking flooded."
"Tried to challenge the guy in the stall next to me to a thumb war, now he's holding my hand & crying about his childhood. I need to wipe."
"if you took every species of rattlesnake in the US and laid them end to end, I would yell at a safe distance, ""STOP DOING THAT!"""