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Joke of the Day

"My doctor said I should stop thinking so much, it's bad for my health and could damage my liver He also say's I'm half deaf"

"I tried to steal a didgeridoo from a museum... I didgeri-shouldn't-have-done-that. 3 years...."

"the divorce rate among my socks is astonishing"

"I was going to make a joke about Counter Strike... But it would be globally offensive."

"Doggy style, because sometimes you both just like the same tv show."

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines"

"My walk of shame is leaving a handicapped restroom stall while trying not to make eye contact with the wheelchair guy who was waiting on me."

"Republicans and elections The republicans wanted to have Jesus run for president. The plan had to be aborted though: he had a hole in his hand."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat? 'cause if they fell forward, they'd still be in the Fuckin' boat! I'll show myself out."

"If I ever say, ""Do you want me to be honest?"" Say no."