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Joke of the Day

"Why is it that there aren't much natural oil resources in China? They ate all the dinosaurs"

"I've lost my dog! Have you tried putting a message on the Internet? Don't be silly my dog never reads e-mails!"

"If I were in a musical, I'd get fired in a week. Keep a straight face while someone looks in my eyes & sings to me? Nope. Sorry. Impossible."

"My das always used to eat rabbit before he went for a run - he said it made him go faster Really, it just put a little more of a hop in his step"

"My daughter complained we were out of snacks so I lifted the couch cushions."

"FBI: If you testify you'll have to go into the Witness Protection Program ME: I'll do it FBI: Your wife and kids too ME: Oh ok never mind"

"What do you call a drawing of Ketchup? Sketchup"

"Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree? Because they're stuck up"

"I was going to make a joke about Counter Strike... But it would be globally offensive."

"Our kitchen is starting to look like a middle school science fair"