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Joke of the Day

"Instead of a flask I keep a small kitten in my jacket pocket that I pull out for a quick pet whenever I need a pick-me-up."

"how many black live matters protester does it take to screw in a light bulb? no one knows it was too dark to see them."

"You want to know who never gets checked for their ID? HumIDity."

"*Crime Scene Cop: (cuffs the dog) Detective: what the hell are you doing? Cop: Sir, I think we're dealing with a shapeshifter"

"Sometimes this earth seems so crazy to me. But I guess I should expect it from a bipolar planet."

"Congrats to everyone who just got cast in the new Star Wars movie. The film industry is telling you they think you look like an alien."

"What's Afghanistan's National Bird? An American drone."

"Gay test: are you gay ? If you answered yes, then you're gay."

"What's the difference between Finebros and Humiliation pornstars? Humiliation pornstars get the money they want."

"Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed? With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed"