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Joke of the Day

"Why is the Pharaoh a rare tuba player? Because he Toots Uncommon."

"Meets girl at bar. Takes her to Ikea. Quickly learns the difference between one-night stand and one nightstand."

"You should be able to get out of a speeding ticket if you can prove you were listening to a kick-ass song."

"Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things literally"

"I don't always roll a joint, But when I do it's my ankle"

"How is Donald Trump related to this post? They're both jokes."

"Sorry I can't go out. My phone is too old to hold enough charge so I live by this outlet now."

"I cut myself while shaving... Because who... has time... for both. ~Jim Hamilton"

"What do you call a Native American who graduated from med school? A doctor, you racist!"

"(NSFW) What do a girl's asshole and a 9 volt battery have in common? You know it's wrong, but eventually you have to put your tongue on it."