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Joke of the Day
"Why is the Pharaoh a rare tuba player? Because he Toots Uncommon."
Next Joke
"My wife was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder... And, just my luck, not one of them likes sucking cock."
"No iPhone. I will not text bahaha. I am not a hilarious sheep."
"Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline? And when did my wife start smoking?"
"I saw Donald Trump walk by Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller without stopping... Turns out he really doesn't recognize Jewish Stars."
"Success is like giving birth... everyone congratulates you in the end but nobody knows how many times you got fucked in order to get there."
"""No!"" -An A to Z guide to parenting."
"It's not a relationship until you argue about whose turn it is to apologize."
"GOLFER: what r u thinkin ME (caddying): honestly sometimes i wake up & am mad that im not dead GOLFER: jesus. i meant what club should i use"
"Do you know what a Freudian slip is? It's where you say one thing but fuck your mother."