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Joke of the Day

"9 out of 10 Americans agree ...that out of 10 Americans, one American will always disagree with the other nine."

"My dog's got no ""O""s. - How does it spell? - ""dg""."

"Been told I'm a pretty awful human being. I stopped listening after he said I was pretty."

"If your toilet paper roll is on the wrong way, I'll fix it and then never come over again."

"What do you call a deer with flashlights for eyes? A bright eye deer."

"What we all have in common is how extra stupid we look when we stop everything and focus on removing a stray hair from our tongue."

"One time my mom dropped her phone while she was talking to me then picked it up and said ""You OK?"""

"HELP!!! I've just spunked all over my mother's chest by accident whilst she was asleep. If she finds out, she's going to go fucking crazy. Anybody know how to clean cum off antique oak wood??"

"What game do they play at Mexican carnivals? Guaca-mole!"

"I was just at a cell phone convention and stopped at the Virgin Mobile booth. It was just a bunch of nuns in wheelchairs."