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Joke of the Day

"What we all have in common is how extra stupid we look when we stop everything and focus on removing a stray hair from our tongue."

"What does every Tickle Me Elmo receive before it leaves the factory? Two testicles."

"I was told to write a report of waffles But I failed because there was to much walfling"

"Why do black people always finish first in a running race? There's a KFC at the end of the finish line."

"I was arrested for killing a black man I'm a black man EDIT: I'm a half black man"

"What kind of fish is made of just two atoms? 2 Na"

"Instagram's down? What am I supposed to do with my cat? Stroke it?"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair ? Virgin Mobile"

"My 3 year old is helping me make crepes this morning. So far in the mixing bowl there are 2 eggs, 1 cup of flour and 1 measuring cup."

"How do you know if an Asian has been to your house? Your math homework's done, your computer is upgraded, and that little twat is still trying to back out of your driveway."