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Joke of the Day

"If your toilet paper roll is on the wrong way, I'll fix it and then never come over again."

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? 3: a left ear, a right ear and a final frontier. (Courtesy of my dad)"

"My girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my smash mouth obsession But then i saw her face..."

"What's the best fantasy book? A bible"

"Offensive middle eastern joke. What do you call an arab who wants to be European yet keeps practicing his beloved religion, islam? A turk."

"'I can't find my dollar bill' Jane sobbed. 'Don't worry' her Counselor said. 'A dollar doesn't go very far today.'"

"A chinese couple had a baby The baby turned out to be white. The father looked sternly at the mother and said: ""Two Wongs don't make a white."""

"Skrillex is the worst lab partner I've ever had to work with. Every time I hand him a beaker of alkaline solution, he drops it."

"I can dig graves my entire life and nobody calls me a landscaper, but i suck one dick! And they call me gay for life!"

"I watched Lost In Space and loved it! It was a great documentary on Matt Damon."