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Joke of the Day

"What do Augusto Pinochet and New Guns n Roses have in common? They've both committed atrocities in South American stadiums."

"Tony Romo, Michael Vick, and Eli Manning walk into a bar... ...to watch the playoffs."

"So today I was lookin at a girl bcuz she had a piece of lettuce in her hair & she looks at me and said ""I have a boyfriend"" ok lettuce head"

"I couldn't tell if something on the ground was a ball of animal poop or a rock Nudged it with my foot. It was a rock. That was my risky kick for the day."

"My Jewish friend was having trouble with his homework..... I guess he needed more concentration."

"why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7,8,9."

"My wrists hurt every time I drive through a tunnel with passengers. The doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"GPS: You're not really lost, you just want someone to talk to."

"[interview] BOSS: So I see you majored in communication? ME: No...miscommunication BOSS: Your resume clearly says communication ME: See?"