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Joke of the Day

"Nice beard bro looks like you just ate a bunch of lollipops then made out with your cat"

"What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes down the chimney."

"I'm into perpendicular lines. I'm a bisectual"

"I tried to smuggle LSD across the border using my ass The bag broke, then I had the shittiest trip"

"What do you call a racing horse that's never been groomed? Furlong"

"Act happy in the supermarket checkout line to contradict the sad story unfolding on the conveyor belt."

"How did Obama react when he heard Donald Trump won for president? [*removed due to copyright infringement*]"

"Who knows about math and science and is always close by? An engi-near!"

"I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken."

"My new toothpaste reminds me of the united states next president I can feel the burn"