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Joke of the Day

"CRIME SCENE me: four dots in his neck, i suspect two vampires british officer: what about that bloody fork me: this is no time to eat sir"

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"A curious tradition -- to look at a newborn baby and say to yourself, ""Because of your DNA, one day you will rule over me."""
"FIRMS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF OFFERING SERVICES YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AT PRICES THEY REFUSE TO DISCUSS."
"*gazes into the abyss* *awkwardly looks away and pretends I wasn't looking when the abyss gazes back*"
"""I love you...conditionally."" -Cats"
"How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed. "
"When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb."
"Q: What's a cat's second favorite food? - A: Spa-catti!"
"I WILL NOT click on your tinyurl link, no matter what people are saying about me."
"What is the stinkiest businessman? Entra-Manure"
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