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Joke of the Day

"My teacher called me racist today.... So I told him "" I am not racist because as we all know racism is a crime and crime is only done by black people."""

"Racing snail. My racing snail hadn't been out for a while, so i took his shell off to make him more streamlined. Unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish."

"What do you call a gay man who just got fired? A canned fruit!"

"How do you know it's time to go to bed? Hitler is raping you!"

"Saw this one in my maths class Student: Sir I'm cold! Teacher: Go and stand in the corner then. Student: Why would I do that? Teacher: Because it's 90 degrees over there."

"BOSS: I'm sorry mike, but you've been downsized ME: (75% of my original size, in a voice 125% higher pitched) ahh maaan"

"5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian Roulette."

"I'm starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ..."

"Q: What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork? A: Kermit the Frog's Finger"

"What do you call a rabbit roaming with a pack of lions? One bad ass rabbit."