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Joke of the Day

"Saw this one in my maths class Student: Sir I'm cold! Teacher: Go and stand in the corner then. Student: Why would I do that? Teacher: Because it's 90 degrees over there."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning..."

"Reverend have you been drinking? Just water, officer. Then why do I smell wine? Good Lord! He's done it again!!!"

"[stands up in church] Okay I'm starting to think some of this stuff isn't true you guys."

"I just bought a film with..."

"Reading that some butterflies avoid sex by closing their wings to males. The slutty ones get tattoos on the smalls of their backs"

"What does the ISIS member say about telling good jokes? ""It's all in the execution."""

"[flashback to 1st date] *cuts round hole in bottom of popcorn Me: Popcorn? Her: No thanks. (Mom reaches from row behind) ""I'll have some."""

"Every time I think I've parallel parked in a space the size of a shoebox, I get out and find it's the length of two football fields"

"Her: *leaving seductively, slowly dragging fingertip across countertop* Mgr: What'd she want? Me: nothing. Mgr: Where're all the donuts?"