110436

Joke of the Day

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they'd be baygulls"

"[Emergency Room] MRS. PINATA: Will my husband make it, doc? DOCTOR *slurping on sucker*: We'll do what we can but he's lost a lot of candy"

"If you want to annoy a programmer... Give him a bug-type Pokemon"

"Someone invented a yoga mat that rolls itself. If that person reads this tweet, I have a fitted sheet I'd like for you to look at."

"Catfishing my ex... So you could say we're back together."

"Had sex with a deaf and blind paraplegic girl. Fucked her senseless."

"Why did the baker only date large breasted women? Because he kneaded them."

"the only time its ok to call a black guy a nigga is when he shoots you ""dis nigga shot me!"""

"What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time? The Age Of Ultron."

"Rosie O'Donnell is such a hipster ...she hated Trump before it was cool."