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Joke of the Day

"""And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon....Little boy blue and the man on the moon"" ...Drugs in the 70's must've been AWESOME!"

"I think what I despise the most about blind people is knowing they'll get rid of that dog as soon as they start to see."

"TIL Ron Jeremy is a porn star I always thought he was just an actor but as soon as he came on the screen it was clear"

"What's the worst part about being black and jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven."

"Golfer: ""That can't be my ball caddy. It looks far too old."" Caddy: ""It's a long time since we started sir."""

"True Story: A guy at the supermarket walked up to me today and asked me if I was on twitter. I said no. If you're reading this, I lied."

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead."

"An astronomer looks at the sky through a telescope, searching for something. After a while he stands up, looks to the heavens, and yells, ""You cannot be Sirius!"""

"My friends eyes are so skewed.. [Original Joke] He looks like a cow"

"I'm gonna date the first guy to come out of this ""Free STD Screenings!"" van. #goodplan"