110190

Joke of the Day

"The theme song for my sex life is ""With or Without You."""

"I want to hire a Chipotle employee to tuck me in at night."

"Do you know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left leg and arm in a car crash? He's all right now."

"You pick up the phone: ""Hello, this is the IRS.."""

"I like my girls the same way I like my coffee. Without milk."

"What exactly had the ""NOW That's What I Call Music!"" guy been listening to before? Sound FX CDs? Whale noises?"

"When Yuri Gagarin was a kid, he dreamt to be the first one in outer space ... ... but some bitches beat him to it."

"What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll."

"You're so fat... you had a threesome with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Buttersworth."