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Joke of the Day

"9: You like Twitter Dad? Me: Yep 9: I'll join and be your friend. M: Cool, extra math is great! 9: It's a math thing? M: yep 9: nevermind"

"What does a Canadian hipster say? ""meh""."

"Hitler has heard that the Americans have liberated Normandy Hitler: It's over Eva. Everything's a disaster. We might as well call this Disaster Day. Eva: Why not just call it D-Day?"

"What's the difference between a $20 prostitute and a $200 prostitute? When the $20 one swallows, it's because she's hungry."

"Parallel lines have so much in common.... it's a shame they're never gonna meet."

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."" ""Oh my god honey, what happened?"" ""I reposted the same goddamn joke too many times."""

"/r/jokes http://i.imgur.com/i9mD9jZ.gifv I don't remember what that link is, used this cuz reddit says I need text here to post."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Blue ! Blue who ? Blue away with the wind !"

"50 Shades of Spalding Gray 7 years of decay and the East River."

"What time is it in Ireland when someone farts too much? Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty"