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Joke of the Day

"Want proof advertising works? I just bought a Goodyear blimp."

"A day after the Blagojevich verdict and a radical stylist announces plans to build a hair salon two blocks from the courthouse. Disgraceful."

"Some guy in a in a wheelchair stole my camo jacket He can hide but he can't run."

"What did the rising sun say to the morning dew? You will be mist."

"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. Kinda like crying, screaming, or dying."

"Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face."

"CW: My wedding is going to be expensive! Me: Wait till you see what the divorce is going to cost you!"

"What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night? Chicago."

"What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)"

"Hey dad, the hospital called, patients are trying to rest, could you please turn down your television."