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Joke of the Day
"Haven't been able to tweet much recently. Need to cut back on real life."
Next Joke
"A scotsman walks out of a bar It could happen."
"Why don't people name their kids 'Napoleon'? It's too complex"
"Most men know that women dream of having two men at the same time. But they don't understand that in those fantasies one man is cleaning the house and the other one is cooking."
"What's worse than being struck by a lightning? Being struck by an iMac."
"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies!"
"A gay guy wants to quit smoking... So he put a nicotine patch on both arms, now he's down to 2 butts a day."
"My friend accidentally shot off three of his toes He told me to get him to a hospital, I told him ""Sorry i'm Lack-Toes Intolerant""."
"Funny, those Baby Einstein videos don't mention anything about how he fled Baby Europe to escape the Baby Nazis."
"My wife accused me of having uncontrollable OCD.' I put her in her place."