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Joke of the Day

"[sifting through mail] baby shower invitation? Haha, um no thanks, Linda. I have a regular size shower that I can use whenever I want"

"What's the fastest way to ruin free pie? Put the word 'gluten' at the beginning"

"How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Poker face."

"A Vulture Boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons.The stewardess say,""I'm sorry but we only allow each passenger one carrrion."" joker"

"Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts."

"This girl told me she didn't poop... But I think she was full of shit."

"I decided to give a name to my dinner. It was a Miss Steak."

"Bruce Willis: I hate when people talk during movies, I never do it Director: Yes but we're filming the movie now, do you see the difference"

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'm gonna give these two a lift."

"My sex life is like a Pontiac. I usually find it on the side of the road."