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Joke of the Day

"wife: Feeling better? me: Yeah wife: Kind of overreacted to a cold didn't you? [flashback to me calling the Make-A-Wish Foundation] me: No"

"Why did Mother Nature trip the last day of summer? To make it Fall."

"Farted in front of my Jewish boss today. He wasn't impressed. It's not like a little gas ever killed anyone."

"Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car."

"My girlfriend and I were having sex so loud we woke up the whole house. My wife was furious."

"Want to have a haircut like Jesus? Just ask for the ""What Would Jesus 'Do!"""

"Why will you never go hungry in a desert? Because of all the sand which is there."

"One time, Chuck Norris had sex with a hooker in a truck, and some semen got on the seat... The truck is now known as Optimus Prime."

"What do you call a black priest? Holy shit."

"How does Darth Vader manage to eat through that mask? He's force fed."