109025

Joke of the Day

"[phone rings] ""Hello?"" Hi, is your refrigerator running? ""WTF?"" ...well Hillary is! Hi, I'd like to talk to you about the Clinton campaign."

"What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a shipcarrying blue paint? Both crews were marooned."

"What's the difference between a Walnut and a Chickpea? I've never had a Walnut on my chest.."

"Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in raw"

"Walking into WalMart with my kids, ""Remember, kids - use your Target voices."""

"I've just found my iPhone autocorrects ""cunt"" to ""Cynthia."" Which means somewhere in Steve Jobs' past is a woman with one HELL of a story."

"In America they have stand up comedy... In the Balkans we have Sit Down Tragedy."

"Women are just like computers... They are always freezing for no reason and you need to replace them about every 3-5 years."

"What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room? Refusing to fill out the guest comment card."

"What's the difference between Kim and Robert K? Robert never got a famous black guy off all by himself ..."