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Joke of the Day

"Did you know we only use 10% of our brains? ""Actually that's a myth-"" This part is useless *stabs fork in head* See? Now florble arble guh"

"YOU make some noise. You're the one with the band and the microphone."

"How did the Pianist play without fingers? Not very well at all..."

"What is Apple users favorite movie? No Escape"

"When you're trying to watch something and your whole family decides to have a competition to see who can be the loudest."

"Spent 15min tracing a suspicious noise that tuned out to be the lid not screwed on the Coke bottle tightly enough. If you need a top sleuth."

"Me: look at these colorful leaves, fall is so beautiful Leaf: *cough* behold the desolation of my brothers *wheeze* death surrounds us all"

"Young Forever Nutritionists say people who eat less tend to be younger in appearance. It is true. One of my friends hadn't eaten for 10 days, he's forever 25 years old now."

"Why was the church opposed to fire on torches? It was heat-on-a-stick."

"What Super Models should you invite to your birthday party ? Cake Moss and Naomi Candles"