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Joke of the Day

"Did you know we only use 10% of our brains? ""Actually that's a myth-"" This part is useless *stabs fork in head* See? Now florble arble guh"

"I've only heard the setup for this joke, anybody know the rest? A Jew and a Pollock are in a rainstorm... That's all I know and I've been dying to find out the rest. Anybody have any ideas?"

"Of all the millions and trillions of literary devices, hyperbole is my favorite."

"God damn toilet! Always stealing my shit!"

"Sorry I picked up your pug and ran him in for a touchdown."

"A man walks into a chemists ""Hi, I'd like some Viagra please"" asks the man. ""I'm sorry"" says the Pharmacist. ""You can't get that over the counter."" ""You can if you take enough."" replies the man."

"I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories."

"I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it's slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever."

"What does a miserable vegan eat? This pear. Thought of this horrible joke while eating a juicy ass pear!"

"Who is the hamburgers' favourite actress? Candice Berger!"