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Joke of the Day
"What's black and always in the back of a police car? The seat."
Next Joke
"Self-control (n.): Charlize Theron keeping a straight face on when the mirror tells her Kristen Stewart is prettier than she is."
"What did the octopus make for desert? ...Octopie"
"All life is precious. Unless you're an accountant, then you welcome sweet death."
"Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone? because there was no jack."
"[March 15] Brutus: Going 2 the senate? Caesar: yeah u? Brutus: yep it'll be killer Caesar: how so? Brutus: like cool u know rad senate stuff"
"Why do hurricanes always have female names? At first they are wet and wild, but then they take away your car and your house."
"The best way to eat a salad is to order a pizza instead."
"Even after all the crap that's gone between them. They're still together. My butt cheeks :)"
"My mom has always assured me that when my dad died in the towers on 9/11, that the image of my face would have been the second last thing going through his head The last thing was the ceiling."