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Joke of the Day

"How many children do I want to have? Kind of a weird question for a first date, but umm I guess enough to finish the temple"

"I'm ok with women faking it in bed. I faked everything to get her there."

"Which teachers make pupils feel good about themselves? Maths teachers, they make everybody count."

"actors kiss each other for like 7 seasons and don't fall in love but when someone holds the door for me i think about it for like 4 months"

"I learned about being sad from my dad. He's kind of a lamentor to me."

"What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through? Oh God, not the B's!"

"For the low, low price of $14.95, I'll send you my instructional DVD, ""How to Succeed as a Con Man."""

"Build a man a fire, he remains warm for the day But set a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life"

"I'd like to join the Navajo tribe... I hear they've got great fringe benefits."

"Saw this stunning girl at a bar last night. I got her a drink, walked over to her and then felt my knees go weak and my stomach turn to butterflies. Turns out that I spiked the wrong drink by mistake."