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Joke of the Day

"I became ill after taking self-defense classes... I think I caught Kung Flu."

"Black people always name their kids things they can't afford La'Diamond, La'Mercedes, La'Phonebill"

"Sold some krokodil today...... ""see you later alligator"""

"Found a copy of ""Dr. No"" in German, and it only set me back nein euro."

"Thank you, possum, for rustling outside the window when some show about serial killers is on. It really helped with my insomnia."

"I'm not one to brag about my financial skills, but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding. ~ Rob DenBleyker (Cyanide & Happiness)"

"I used to be a plumber on the International Space Station Shit was outta this world."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord. My ass!"

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar fifty but deer nuts are under a buck."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot."